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- Dating in Russia - Understand Russia.
- 7 reasons not to date a Russian woman.
Yes, and why not? All women are like women, but Russian women are like goddesses. Russian women's knockout beauty is one of the most widespread stereotypes about them. Although one must admit that the stereotype is not that far removed from reality — Russian women do pay an inordinate amount of time and attention to how they look.
7 reasons you should never date a Russian woman
And yet, it is their boyfriends who will have to pay for all this beauty, both literally and figuratively speaking. You will be constantly outraged — and may become paranoid - at the persistent attention your girlfriend attracts from her admirers. Her dozens of bottles and jars on the bathroom shelf will very quickly crowd out your solitary antiperspirant and will eventually start falling on your head while you take your shower. Furthermore, a lady like that will be a constant source of worry, and from time to time you will have to fight over her it could be with your fists or in Instagram comments, but you will have to.
In other words, say goodbye to the quiet life. Everything depends on self-control, of course, but the temptation to land one day in the kitchen and never leave its cozy confines will only grow with time. The thing is that girls in Russian families are brought up from an early age to believe one pearl of wisdom: No matter how you or your Russian girlfriend feels about these conventions from past centuries, one day she will try to surround you with a wall of pancakes provided she is really into you anyway.
You can be sure that everything will be done on a Russian scale. If she makes borsch, it will in a five-liter saucepan. If it is salad, there will be a basin of it. And if she roasts meat, there will be a full baking tray of it. And do not forget about her family. They remember "the stomach rule" too.
7 reasons not to date a Russian woman - Russia Beyond
A visit to your girlfriend's relatives will involve a lavish meal lasting at least three hours. I think you have already guessed that in addition to falling in love with your girlfriend you will also have to fall in love with Russian cuisine. All the more so since she is likely to measure your love for her by how selflessly and willingly you eat her food. Your Russian girlfriend will become your best friend, your partner, your doctor, your beauty consultant, psychologist and sparring partner. All your time now belongs to her, she thinks.
Everything really everything will be sacrificed at the altar of your relationship. History remembers how in the 19th century Russian women followed their exiled husbands to Siberia. So do not expect that you will be able to scare your Russian girlfriend with hardship. If you start pretending to be hopeless, you will get even more care and emotional support. And after that, she will definitely not leave you. A Russian woman respects strength. Deep inside, she is independent, but even she does not always find this easy. Genetically, she is programmed — as noted by Russian writers back in tsarist times — "to enter a house on fire and to hold up a galloping horse.
For example, she will drag a kg package of dog food up the stairs to the 10th floor and will not ask for help. With a woman like that, you need to be head and shoulders above her all the time, if only a little. Both morally and physically. Instead of manicure scissors or a cashmere pullover, you may have to get out your drill, pliers or a jack she will appreciate it.
She will want to look perfect and she will look at her best. Most of the time that has nothing to do with her trying to look chic in order to extract any benefits from you contrary to the popular opinion. That is just the upbringing and the habit here. However, she will expect a lot of admiration in return, so do not be shy to compliment her on her looks. Russian girl will always accept admiration with grace and smile and will love that.
Beginning a Relationship – Expressing Interest
And when you think how much Russian girls spend in order to look beautiful, you may come to a conclusion that even if she expects some gifts in her honor — that is justifiable. Good idea for a date with a Russian — to dress up a bit more than you would typically do for going out regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.
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For a man — wearing a jacket, for a woman — make up and high heels if you feel comfortable wearing them are most appropriate. Typical outfit for a date in the US for a girl — skinny jeans, high heeled boots and a nice top, may be not enough in Russia. You may feel a bit underdressed and will feel more in place if you wear a more feminine outfit. That does not mean — you have to wear mini, but wearing a dress or a skirt and a top will be more appreciated than wearing jeans. In the US — there are plenty of rules, especially regarding appropriate topics for conversations at a first date, duration of the date and the progress what is allowed and considered appropriate at each stage of the relationship.
In Russia — there are much less rules, barely any rules. People act as they wish and are rather emotional than rational.
But in general — people kiss if they feel like it and do whatever feels right at each particular moment. Champagne is the drink of choice for any romantic occasion in Russia, not just for weddings and anniversaries. As for date behavior and conversations — expect the guys to act manly and the girls to act girly. A guy will talk about his business or his job a lot and will find a way to demonstrate his wealth by mentioning his car, house and other evidences of status.
A guy will also talk a lot about his manly hobbies — hunting, shooting, fishing, doing manly sports, jumping with a parachute, DIY projects etc. Also, guy is expected to be a good storyteller and to make a girl laugh. I was really surprised that guys in the US often brag about their great cooking skills to their dates. To me that was so bizarre that I asked one of my American friends, why these guys do that?
You will never hear a Russian guy, bragging about how he can cook a herb-crusted salmon or bake macaroons! And my friend said that otherwise you will not get a girlfriend, that cooking skills are now among expected skills for men. How cool is that!!!
1. They are too beautiful for you.
I frequently amuse my Russian girlfriends with that story! In the US people usually avoid talking about politics, religion and problems on a first date. In Russia all that is considered quite normal. Girls may tell about some minor disasters, which show them as vulnerable — how she got lost somewhere or her heel broke or she had a flat tire and did not know how to change it.
Girls will often downplay their intellect, education and professional status. She may have a PhD in nuclear physics but she will chat you up about baking pies or embroidery, especially if she is unsure whether you are an equal intellectually. She may also speak about problems in her family or about her past disasters in love life that openness always surprises foreigners. Man can also tell about that — how unfair love life has been for him so far.
Or can even tell about problems at work or tell a story from his childhood, how he was bullied in school. You see a contradiction there — how the same man can act manly and portrait himself as a winner and whine about something? There is no contradiction here — that is building connection on an emotional level. In former times, in ancient Russia to love and to pity were synonyms. That mentality is still strong — if a woman feels that a man is vulnerable, she will be more likely to fall in love with him.
That is not universal though. I recently read an interesting blog post by one of my Russian friends on that topic.
He argued that modern men in their 30s do not want women to pity them, they want women to love them. But I would say that if you are dating a Russian girl — do not feel bad about showing your vulnerability in limited doses. Another difference is that there are no strict rules on how fast the relationship should move forward. It can move to marriage very fast or stay at a dating stage for a long time and both versions will be considered normal.
Very big difference is that engagement rings appeared only recently new habit, promoted by diamond makers. Before, a guy was just asking for a hand and a heart from a girl and asked for the permission to marry her from her parents. Wedding usually happened in months after the proposal and that is when bride and groom got wedding rings. To a large extent weddings happened so soon because people used to marry in the early 20s, when they still lived with their parents and parents did not approve sleepovers. But another reason is that Russians are emotional and impatient. If we decide that we have found a right guy or a right girl — why wait to be together?
Part II — Diets. Thank you so much Jenn!!! I am traveling in the US right now, do not have time to update the blog in these 2,5 weeks. But will definitely write more soon!!!